Bumpy friendships and a drastic lesson!

There are certain emotions we let build up in our hearts for an extended period of time and don’t let then out unless they start eating us out from the inside.

Today, I am sharing some of my darkest and most frank emotions with you. It’s been 12 years since I have been in my school and it might not be surprising to read that I have not had a best friend. Ever. Sure, there were people who got really close to me, close to know about my infatuations and my subjects of day breams but not my weaknesses and stresses. No.

Never, that place is always been occupied by my mother. And no one can ever take her place.

So, these people who decided to get close enough shattered me. That was fine. It was a mutual mistake and we both moved on. However, now as I am in 12th grade, my friendships seem pointless to me. And it’s not an abstruse concept but I don’t believe in the people around me anyone.
You might not be concerned with this but I am, of course.

And now my state is where I have cooped myself up in a blanket of solitude and despair. But that does not entitle me to feel lugubrious or sad all the time. No. Never. I will hold my head high, broaden my shoulders and walk through all obstacles. Most people would do that with their best friends or girl friends or whatever, but no, not me. I will pave my way alone. And that’s absolutely reasonable because I have my parents.

Some events have made me realise how fake and faux this world is, how fickle. How sanctimonious and heinous people are. It hurts very much but one has to move on. My dolorous rant may end but that results me in realising that people use and throw. And I am not stating that ALL the people are like that. No, there are more mellow and kinder people but unfortunately, I have not had the pleasure of meeting them.

My point is that if someone gets close to you, so close to you that they know everything about you and you trust them with a ceaseless and unavoidable faith and they leave you? It’s okay.I have had to face profoundly dishonest and mean friends and i have learnt that some people just don’t change, they are like that little notorious child who will always break something in the house-unscrupulously naughty and unchangeable.

Further, I feel extremely hollow inside to know that when I wake up tomorrow for school, I won’t perceive a friend running up excitedly to me and asking-“How was your birthday weekend? I enjoyed the party you threw on Thursday.” No. No. They are too egotistical and vindictive to even say that. But let’s brush away the negativity and make this post a positive one, the bright part is that I am not mourning over the missing friendship. No. Friendship is a lost concept, however, my career and academics is not.

So, if you ever find yourself in this cryptic labyrinth of life, just be grateful for whatever you have and move on. I mean it. Forget and forgive and concentrate on doing YOU. Because, you are beautiful. You are the best. Give yourself strength!

Your friendship could come down like a house of cards and you won’t even realise because you’ll transfer yourself in the miasma of sadness and loss. But if you have the courage to transfer yourself into the aura of positivity and elation, then you have won the battle, my friend!

Share your story with me if you want to. I wanted to make this post a little more sentimental but ah, emotions.
I am going to put tits and bits of my life on this blog more frequently now.

Tell me if you enjoyed this!

Love,
Avantika. Oooh. My real name is out. Haha. 🙂

2 thoughts on “Bumpy friendships and a drastic lesson!

  1. Goodness! Seems like meeting my twin! We have so much in common! First – happy belated birthday wishes to you. Hope you spent a great time with your family. May all happiness be yours and should you achieve all you aspire for.
    Now, I too am Indian (you too are, if I am not wrong to guess from your sweet name Avantika) and again, I’m in class 12. I have very similar thoughts, I too am a lonely soul, never had a real friend, just betrayal, seems they have some special criteria for friendship which I never fulfil, no matter how giving, sweet and friendly I be. My world revolves around my mother, she’s my best friend, my guide, my everything. I can say I almost reside in her.
    There is so much about you I can relate to, I almost genuinely believed I was reading my own diary.
    Certainly, a wonderful post. I am glad to have come across a person as beautiful and strong as you. Take care, best wishes and love. 🙂

    1. Wow. This compliment blew me away! Thank you. Yes, I am Indian too. Haha. It’s okay to be lonely and sometimes, a successful person stands alone. Same! 😍
      I am glad you can relate. Wow. You stay strong and beautiful too. Oceans of love to you too. ❤️ Thanks for the comment.

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