A Letter To Myself That Will Remind Me To Be A Good Daughter.

Dear Self,

You’ve been so brave this year. Yes, you can applaud yourself. It’s known to be uplifting and pleasing. But have you been loving your loved ones enough? Hmm. That is something to ponder over.

You talk to yourself a LOT. And when the phrase ‘a lot’ is being used, it refers to the fact that you constantly over-think, critique and analyze yourself. It could be in front of the mirror, or while staring at the ceiling of your bedroom or just looking out of the window.

But amid all this, how do you leave out the most important thing to think about?

So think: we always choose to take for granted what is already being given to us. Things such as food and emotions such as love. Like, you feel the swift rush of love in your heart when your Mother says something that is sweet and intrinsic to her maternal nature. But sometimes, you fail to reciprocate and then you end up becoming the worst daughter this Earth will ever host.

You forget what her favorite food dish is.

You forget her shopping list.

You forget what makes her tear up.

And, you forget that apart from being a person who caters to all your needs, she is also a brilliant woman who has desires of her own.

You forget that sometimes when you go shopping, she furtively expects you to come back and surprise her with something she has desperately wanted for a long time. It could be her favorite lipstick that just ran out or the fancy shampoo she has wanted for a long time but is somehow hesitant to buy by herself because she hates Materialism and loathes high maintenance even more.

You forget that your decision to help out in the kitchen should not be born out of obligation but out of compassion.

You forget that rambling on about your life and your miseries sidelines what she is feeling.

You fall. You fall like an ill-prepared solder on the battlefield. And so this letter should help and serve to you as a reminder to not view your mother as your mother ONLY.

View her as this goddess who experienced such visceral pain while giving birth to you that she almost blacked out.

View her as a woman whose mind is filled with drowsy dreams and candid curiosities.

View her as someone with a cerebral mind and a warm heart.

View your mother as a human being and not as a refuge to dump your emotional baggage in.

View her as your everything.

Yours truly and sincerely,

Conscience.

My first ever poetry slam! 

Stop.
Did you hear that?
It was the sound of your fear.
In the form of short breaths and tiny beads of sweat.
You are terrified. And you are foolish.
For you binge-watched Criminal Minds for two hours straight.
In the middle of the night.
And now, your primary fear is a fast approaching attacker.
Hidden behind the curtains or huddled up in your attic.
You contrive plans to beat him. Beat him with all your strength.
Until your fist is tainted blue from the punches
And cheeks ruddy from all the rush
But wait!.
All of this is fictional and inside your head.
For you had bolted every door before
you made it to bed.
But some woman out there screams with a
clay tongue as the ingress to her innocence is shattered by someone.
And here you are, lamenting about gender bias, confined within four walls.
I have faith in challenging.
So challenge the age-old convention of casting women as  Mary Janes with doe eyes in those horror movies and drab shows.
The fear that had blanketed you earlier should be gone by now
You should be able to get up and adorn the cape of bravery
And stand up to these loons while spewing profanities at them articulately.

Hi! Did anyone miss me? No? I figured that out by myself. So yes, I participated in my first EVER poetry slam and this was the poem I performed. Like it? Hate it? Tell me.

Read the interview I took of the organizer here-  http://jaipurwomenblog.org/post-jaipurs-first-poetry-slam-vriddhi-plans-to-have-a-comedy-night-soon/

THAT’S ME.
Bye!

When We Are One. 

The moon’s soft rays 
Kiss the moor ground 
With the delicacy of an 
Innocent maiden of 
Old times. The gentle 
Light caresses my skin 
With a mellow touch. 
I look up to the sky, 
Tainted with stars which 
I am inclined to touch. 
They are silver dots of 
Wonder and they 
Fascinate me. 
The trees around me 
Are silent and still, 
Embracing the moon 
And its pulchritude like 
I do and in that moment, 
The line between 
Human and Nature blur. 
The line is now indistinguishable,
it’s almost invisible. 
We are one. The trees and 
I. There’s no destruction. 
There’s only peace. And tranquility. 

Hi WordPress! How much i missed you.
Now that my exams are over, i can post without  worrying about not finishing my course (believe me, i came very close to that). How have you all been? How has 2016 been for you? I have big dreams for this blog. Give me suggestions and wise words for the improvement of this blog if you want. I am thinking of collaborating with a lot of bloggers this year. Tell me if you are interested. 

(I know, no one will show up. There’s no harm in trying) 

I hope you have a good day, folks. 🙂 

Avantika. 

New Year Resolutions. You’ll end up forgetting yours in no time! 

Strangely, I am not feeling the ‘New Year’ buzz even though I am encumbered by loud music, over enthusiastic cheers and refulgent grins. 

It might take some time to sink in that it will be 2016 in a matter of minutes. 

I won’t be in school anymore. 

A normally functioning human being who will miss seeing their friends on a daily basis will be sordid at this fact. I am not! I am hardly rueful. In fact, I am glad I won’t have to put up with the charade to like school because I just cannot. 

Of course, 2015 has been VERY eventful. 

All with my blog becoming a little more active, with 259 family members attached to it. You all are family! 

I got nominated for the Lovely blog award. Could anything be more awesome? 

People make resolutions for new year and brighter tomorrows all the time. However, I am not in the mood. I am not in a mood to list things I want to change in myself next year. Can I be myself without having to think about alterations in my thought processes and mannerisms? 

The answer is very much YES. 

Why change? When your new year resolution will be just like that belittled sweater you bought at a Black Friday Sale? 

The truth is, you will forget what your new year resolution was before the push messages for 2016 even meet their sad end. 

That’s right, hit ‘delete’ right away, folks. 

I am not saying that making resolutions is unhealthy or foolish. It’s just that, for once, let nature take its force and do what it wants with you. Let the chips fall where they may? 

Why try to walk on coal when you cannot? Why break promises you cannot even keep? 

Thus, let’s be the same people we were in 2015 and let’s be ourselves. Let’s, however, do something simple. Let’s embrace positive thoughts and a prosperous future with arms spread wide. Yes, wider. Wide emough? I think so. 

Happy New Year, Family. 

You do you. 

Never change for anyone or anything. 

It’s 12:00 already? 

*flurry of push messages* 

Ah. 

The Christmas buzz.

In the lonesome streets
At night and under the
Bright moon’s light, I
Wander with a heavy
Heart and a hindsight
Of the horrible events
Of tonight. My jacket
Is causally slung over
My shoulder and the
Engagement ring sits
Like a wounded dog
In it’s case, curled in a
Ball. My eyes water
At the sight of your
Angry and flushed face
And how you scraped
The chair along the
Floor angrily as you
Gaped. It was unexpected.

It was plaintive. Whatever it
Was, it was evident that
You were not ready.
And neither I am, to be
With a girl who only
Longs for Tiffany’s and
Not some local jeweller.
A cup of hot chocolate
Awaits my cosy residence.

The lambent
Lights of my Christmas
Tree will sing silently in

my presence and
Meanwhile, I will devise
Strategies to move on
From you and refresh
My existence.

Merry Christmas to everyone on WordPress. This year is coming to an end and that makes me want to tear up. It was fabulous. I hope this year brought you a lot of happiness too.

I wrote this poem for those who feel that they have a right to be sad on Christmas. You don’t! Whatever horrible situation has befallen you will mitigate and become better. Be grateful for whatever you have. Share smiles and radiance with your loved ones. Be spirited!

With all the love I can muster for you all, Avantika!

Delusions And Deafeats.

You are like the trapped
Bee who makes the irk 
Some buzzing sound 
When it is captured in a 
Glass jar. You keep taking
rounds until your insignificant
wings just can’t bear to
function and you settle at the 
Bottom with an abrupt 
And unpredictable 
Quietness. You have 
Given up, silly human. 
You fail to see that the 
rim of the metal jar gives 
Way to the tiniest of 
Spaces. It’s wide enough 
For you to get out. Yet, 
There you are, sitting 
And sighing, waiting for 
Miracles to happen and 
Ignoring all the opened 
Doors and the small 
Space on the rim of the jar. 

The Fiery Fight.

The cold pavement against
her cheek does nothing to calm
Her hot, boiling blood.

The rags that cover her
Sinuous body do nothing
To cover up skin and the
Humiliation she suffers.

The hands that only wrap
Around rancid items of
food do nothing to stop her
longing for lavish delicacies.

She lived the life of a
Beggar with equanimity
Until something snapped
Inside of her.

Now, her anger will be her strength.
Her frustration will be her driving force.
She will turn her future into a comfortable, liveable one.

She’ll fight. She son’t run.

Antithesis.

I remember when our 
Eyes met for the first 
Time. Do you know of 
The heat that transpired? 
We were just like the Sun 
and the Moon that cause  

an eclipse and an uproar.
Our stars were meant to collide.
Our galaxies were not meant to subside: 
We were just like ice and fire. 
Dangerous, with vigour. 

Or, cold and somber. 
We’ll always be polar 
Opposites and yet, 
We’ll be like magnets. 

Beautiful Blemishes and a sunrise. 

The sky is a blue bottom 
Less pit, where the stars 
That bloom like the daisies 
in the garden are Incipient 
hindrances.They are 

impediments that make 
You want to stare forever. 
I am on the ground and 
I am moving. Yet, what 
Enthrals me and captures 

My eyes is the sky. The 
Blue, winsome sky. It’s 
Painted with rays of light
That peek out from the 
Horizon and in no time 

It’s dawn. My eyes bask
In the glow of the sun 
And the feel of the rays. 
I continue to stare at the 
Sky. My altered existence 
Is permanent and peremptory.

I have changed.
This sunrise had changed me. 

This was written in a hurry. i din’t know if i was in a hurry to get the poem and the message out there or i just wanted to pee desperately. Either way, i just wanted to tell you and remind you that nature has a bounty of beauty that we are ignoring. Wake up early for once and enjoy the sunrise and you’ll thank me. its beauty is unignorable and priceless.

I love you all. 

Avantika. (Tell me if you hate the poem) 

For the lover who never existed..

You’re like the fire that 

Needs no rekindling. You’re 

The wave that does not do 

Any wavering. You’re the 

Air I breathe. You’re the 

Scent I seek. You are nothing

But everything at once. 

You are tantamount to a 

Candle that burns and the 

Flame leaves the wax behind 

In it’s wake for me to remember. 

You give me warmth and I 

Shelter you with my body and 

Absorb you to the core. 

1. Short poem. I know. 

2. After writing this, I mused and murmured out loud-“I don’t do love poems. Not my fortè. ” Do you agree? 

3. Every week on Friday, I’ll give you a song recommendation. I’ll tell you the song that I have been listening to continually. For this Friday, it’s ‘Papercut’ by Zedd and Troye Sivan. Tell me if you have ever heard it. 

4. Have a great weekend. Spread smiles. On a totally irrelevant note, don’t text and drive. It kills. 

Avantika.